Belong Psychotherapy: Cultivating a sense of belonging can start in therapy
- Nina Tilka
- Mar 28
- 3 min read
In today’s post, I want to share a little bit about my practice, which I've given the name Belong Psychotherapy Inc. It is more than just a name. It says something about what I value and what I strive to make my practice about. There’s a difference between knowing we belong and feeling like we belong—and that difference is profound. It’s what I hope my clients will find for themselves in the world and in their own lives. That journey can start in the therapy room.
I'm Dr. Nina Tilka, a licensed psychologist based in Tustin, California, where I provide individual psychotherapy to adults struggling with grief, anxiety, and chronic stress. I also run therapy groups. My work is rooted in the belief that relationships are powerful and important. I also would argue that relationships are why we are here on this Earth. There is a reason we come into the world as babies - completely vulnerable and reliant on the ones who brought us into the world. From day one, we need others. We cannot do it alone.
So relationships are important, not just that we have them, but also the quality of them and how we feel in them. It is these aspects of our early interactions that are foundational, shaping our development and how we see ourselves, others, and the world at large. And as I said earlier, this starts early... like right when we're born. As resilient as babies are, we know from research, physical touch and attachment relationships are foundations for survival and social-emotional development. If you are interested in learning more about this, it is called Attachment Theory. More on this topic later. In addition, there is some research to suggest that relationships continue to shape us throughout our life.
A previous supervisor once told me, "If every person had a good, solid friend they could talk to, there wouldn't be a need for psychologists."
Do I think it’s that simple? Probably not. But maybe?
The truth is, not everyone has someone to talk to. And even those who do may still feel unseen, unheard, or misunderstood. That’s where therapy comes in—not just for interventions and coping strategies (though those are valuable, too), but for something deeper and more powerful: a space to feel a sense of belonging.
Why Belonging Matters
Belonging is more than just being part of a group—it’s about feeling accepted, valued, and connected. It’s about having a place where you can show up as your full, authentic self without fear of judgment. When we feel like we belong, we are more resilient, more open, and more able to navigate life’s challenges.
On the flip side, a lack of belonging can fuel loneliness, self-doubt, and emotional pain. It can make grief feel heavier, anxiety more overwhelming, and stress more unmanageable.
Belonging isn’t just something we find externally—it’s also something we cultivate within ourselves. Brene Brown has defined belonging as, "being part of something bigger but also having the courage to stand alone, and to belong to yourself above all else." How do we do that? How do we develop that courage and the comfort within our self?
Sometimes, it starts with just one space where you feel truly seen and accepted. For many, that space begins in therapy.
How Therapy Can Help You Find Belonging
Therapy provides a safe, supportive relationship where you can explore who you are, what you need, and how to connect more deeply with others. It offers:
✔ A Judgment-Free Space – A place where you can express yourself openly and be met with understanding.
✔ A Deeper Understanding of Yourself – Exploring your experiences, patterns, and emotions can help you see where disconnection may be showing up in your life.
✔ Healing from Past Wounds – If past relationships have made it hard to trust or feel safe with others, therapy can help you rebuild that trust.
✔ Practical Tools for Connection – Whether it’s improving communication, setting boundaries, or working through social anxiety, therapy helps you develop the skills to create meaningful relationships.
You Belong Here
If you’re a resident in California, struggling with grief, anxiety, or chronic stress and are looking for a place where you can feel heard, valued, and supported, I invite you to reach out. You belong here.
