Life has a way of testing our limits, especially when things aren’t getting better; it feels like hope is slipping through our fingers. Whether it’s a personal setback, an unfulfilled dream, or the weight of the world’s challenges (sometimes all of the above all at once), disappointment can cast a shadow so dark that we cannot see the light. And in those darkest moments, the act of holding onto hope is more than just a survival mechanism—it’s a lifeline, a reminder that the story isn’t over, and change for the better is possible. Good will come.
The Weight of Disappointment
Disappointments are a universal part of the human experience. Unfortunately, things will not always go the way we had hoped. Whether it’s the crushing weight of a career dream that didn’t materialize, a relationship that ended prematurely, or an illness that shook your world, each one can feel like a personal defeat. We can often feel the sting or pain of being let down, leading us to blame the hope for allowing us to fall so far. To do this is a fallacy because hope also can lead to good outcomes. Hope is not the problem. And to never hope again has many more costs than benefits, in my opinion.
What makes disappointment particularly difficult is the feeling of finality it carries. The world doesn’t always offer the answers we want, and sometimes it seems as though no matter how hard we try, life keeps throwing curveballs. In these moments, hope can feel distant, almost unreachable, and maybe just too painful to stretch out a hand to.
And this is precisely when hope becomes most important.
The Power of Hope in the Face of Adversity
Hope is not an abstract concept or wishful thinking—it is a grounded, resilient force. It is the belief that despite how things may look now, there is potential for change, growth, and renewal. It is the act of choosing to believe that the future can be better, even when today is difficult.
Studies have shown that hope is linked to better outcomes in mental and physical health, higher levels of resilience, and a greater sense of well-being. People who maintain hope, even when things don’t go as planned, are more likely to continue pursuing their goals, adapt to challenges, and find joy in life, even amidst hardship.
Hope is not about ignoring pain or pretending that everything will be okay immediately—it’s about acknowledging the reality of the struggle while believing in the possibility of a brighter tomorrow.
Building Resilience: How to Hold onto Hope When It Feels Hard
Embrace Your Feelings Knowing that They Do Not Define You
Disappointment sucks. It's normal to feel sadness, frustration, or anger in the face of disappointment. These emotions are part of being human. However, it’s important not to let them control your narrative. You are not your feelings. Those feelings are there to inform you, maybe even motivate you, not control you. You are not your setbacks. You are someone who is experiencing hardship, but who is also capable of overcoming it.
Reframe Your Perspective
I like to call this zooming out. Try to take a step back and look at the bigger picture of your life. When life doesn’t go according to plan, it’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of negative thinking. Instead, try to reframe the situation. Ask yourself, What have I learned from this experience? What growth has occurred, even in failure? Sometimes, our greatest growth comes from moments of challenge and disappointment. Even if things didn’t work out as expected, there may be lessons to be found in the journey. Sometimes what helps me to do this when I’m in the thick of hardship, is to think about the past experiences I’ve had where I did learn something or things ended up working out.
We Belong To Each Other
I believe that relationships are here for the purpose of carrying us through when we are struggling to do it alone. Reach out to friends, family, or even a community of people who understand your struggles. Sharing your disappointments and hearing others’ offer support, encouragement, or hope can remind you that you are not alone. Often, when we feel like giving up, the presence of others can reignite our own hope.
Trust in the Uncertainty of Life
Sometimes, the greatest act of hope is simply accepting that we can’t always control the outcome. This is a big zoom out and a great thing to practice. Like going to google maps and zooming out until you see ocean and then moving the view to just be over water. Have you ever done that? Sometimes I’ve done it and it freaks me out a little. I think it’s because the ocean is big and scary and unpredictable. Life is unpredictable, and though things might not unfold the way we expect, it doesn’t mean they won’t unfold in a way that will eventually bring us happiness and fulfillment. Embrace the uncertainty. Trust that there are opportunities and possibilities ahead, even if they aren’t visible right now.
Cultivate Gratitude
I don’t want to be cliché here. This is important even though it is my last point. Find something, anything, no matter how small to be grateful for. Accessing a feeling of thankfulness really does change things for the better. Gratitude is key to lowering stress and anxiety, it helps to decrease depression, and improve overall mental and emotional well-being. Shifting your focus from what you don’t have to what you do have—whether it’s supportive relationships, good health, or simple moments of peace—can be a powerful tool for maintaining hope. Gratitude doesn’t erase pain, but it can shift your mindset, helping you see the good in the midst of hardship.
The Hope That Lies Beyond Disappointment
Disappointment can feel like an insurmountable wall, but remember that walls can be climbed, crossed, or even broken down. Each experience of failure or hardship is a stepping stone on the path toward something greater. Hope is not an absence of difficulty, but the belief that something better is still possible—even when the vision is not clear.
It is important to be building resilience so that when you’re faced with disappointment, you can remind yourself that this moment doesn’t define your entire life. Your story isn’t over.
And here is the take away: by holding onto hope, you create space for resilience, growth, and new possibilities. It’s through the tough times that our true strength is revealed.
May we be people who continue to hope, that we may become people who rise from the ashes, rebuild, and thrive.
